Tuesday, 6 September 2016

Moving House - and Guides to Drinking in the Manchester Suburbs of Levenshulme and Urmston

crammed in under the boiler
All the major events and phases in a person’s life can have some relevance to alcohol, you know. In the past I’ve talked about getting married, procreating, goingcamping, generally just going on holiday, stagdos, Christmas, New Year, musicfestivals, works dos, so… this week I want to talk about moving house, something I should have done some months ago, but for some reason talked myself out of. Well now I’ve talked myself back into it. Here it is.
They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things a person can do – along with starting a new job and… I forget the third one, it must be trying to fix the internet or changing an insurance policy or something, but nevertheless, all of these things can be alleviated to some extent by having a nice drink. The reason moving house is so stressful is things like the fact you’re spending tens of thousands of pounds of money you haven’t earned yet on something that you don’t really know for sure is going to turn out ok. For the privilege of spending this money, it’s actually going to cost you about the same amount of money again.
You have to employ a solicitor and get a bunch of surveys done (one if you’re lucky, three if you’re not, like us). You have to get insurance for the property and arrange removals. You have to wrangle and negotiate with the vendor though a useless third party at every turn (estate agents, I’m looking at you). You have to switch over all your utilities and change your address with every organisation that is aware you exist. You have to figure out how you’re going to get to work… think about furnishings (because items you bought for one home just don’t fit in another)… fix things that you know need fixing… find new things that you didn’t know needed fixing (sometimes even things you didn’t know existed that need fixing)… decorate… spend more time in B&Q than you think you can bear… try to figure out how to stop the toilet seat from falling of its own accord without taking the toilet out altogether…
Repeatedly, during and after all this, a drink would very much come in handy but oh, it doesn’t stop there. It’s not all sink into your seat and relax. Now you’ve got to be thinking where are the local pubs? Are they any good? Is there somewhere I can pick up some decent beers on my way home from work? Where am I going to keep all my bottles and glasses? What’s the local supermarket like for beers and spirits? Why didn’t I think of all these things before?
So that’s what I’m going to be looking at this week. To be fair, most of it is fun. The point is, for the alcothusiast, moving house has implications concerning your drinking.
moving day drinks
In January this year, Mrs Cake and I moved from Levenshulme, where we’d been living for 7 years around the M60 a bit, to Flixton and this is how we have been finding things – with a very specific booze-related focus.
Shops
Very important; where can I get me booze from? Well, let’s face it, both our old home and our new home are in suburbs of Manchester, so you’re never going to be far from an offie or a supermarket.
Levenshulme is situated on the busy A6, halfway between Manchester and Stockport and is a very blue collar to no collar area – by which I mean it’s working class or whatever is below that – not-working class. Demographically, it is composed of a fairly sizeable Irish community along with more recent immigrants from all over Eastern Europe, Asia and Africa. To top it off there are the young professionals and young families looking to get a cheap foothold in the housing market.
What all that means is that you have lots of ethnic grocery stores, newsagents and various takeaways as well as one or two small sized supermarkets like Tesco Metro, Iceland and a little Asda. Unless you have access to a car and can make it further afield to the big Tesco in Burnage, then your choice of booze is the small varieties the kind of stores mentioned earlier tend to carry. So you can get some mass produced cans, some uninteresting spirits and a token selection of wine but if you want craft beers or special spirits you need to be looking elsewhere. A little further up the road there is also a small Morrison’s and an Aldi, so you’ve got the bottled for Aldi stuff within reach also.
Flixton is officially a part of Urmston, but it’s just on the edge – almost the countryside. If you don’t know Urmston, it’s actually like a small town in itself. It has a town centre and all that, so on top of the local newsagents and mini markets on your various street corners, at the Eden Square precinct you’ve also got a small to medium sized Sainsburys (which tends to be better for spirits offers, though this one has a depressingly small selection of beers), an Aldi which is so inadequately sized that is is almost impossible to shop in at the weekend – unless you go first thing on a Sunday, but that can be a problem for the alcothusiast, for obvious reasons, and a Home Bargains where you can pick up some low price, low quality ales. There are a couple of beer shops, too.
The Urmston Beer and Wine Shop and Bargain Booze turned out to be little more than crap newsagents with a bit more booze than your average. Bargain Booze even appears to be the kind of place that kids hang out outside of – though not in a threatening way; the ones I saw had a middle class goth vibe about them.
The Prairie Schooner is a bit more worthwhile though. Doubling up as a pub and beer shop, they have a selection of guest ales to drink on the premises and a selection of craft beers that you can also buy to take home with you. You’re not going to go in there to get a crate for a party, but with 6 for £10 offers, you can pick up something you haven’t had before for your Distinct Beers Challenge.
There’s also a small market where a guy sells a selection of beers from a stall.
Pubs
For the fairly short stretch of road that Levy covers, there are a veritable shit-ton of pubs, though they are typically of low quality. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a good night out drinking there, it’s just – shall we say – distinctive.
I have to admit to not having been in all of them. I’m sure they’re fine for the most part, but they do look dodgy and unwelcoming from the outside. The best (while I still lived there) were The Bluebell (a former winner of Pub of the Year), which is a large Samuel Smiths pub, purveying all the ales and spirits they are known for, and the Fiddler’s Green, which is a friendly and tidy Irish pub that’s good for watching football matches. Sadly the selection of beer here doesn’t rise above standard fare like Guinness, Foster’s and Heineken and the beer garden is just a concrete yard. They do have Powers whisky though, which is a nice authentic Irish touch.
Elsewhere you’ve got The Levenshulme which is a proper “local” pub with its regulars, and that I’m told is known for lock-ins, though I’ve never been to one. Shabby on the inside, beer varieties are similarly limited, though you can get one or two brands of premium lager.
In the centre there are two sectarian pubs – The Union and The Horsehoe. They are round the corner from one another. One flies the Loyalist flag, the other the Republican flag. I’ve only been in one (I think it was The Horseshoe) and again, beer choice was poor, it was shabby, and the layout was weird.
The M19 is a sports-type bar with irregular opening hours that has been known to host comedy nights. I went to a free one with Mrs Cake where we saw a guy completely die on his arse. It was very embarrassing.
Other Levy pubs such as Hennigan’s Sports Bar and The Sidings I sadly can’t claim to have been to.
Finally, there’s the Klondyke Club which is up a back road, friendly, very old school, and featuring an untended bowling green and lots of outdoor space. We went once for a beer festival that turned out to be taking place on a different weekend. They serve a selection of ales and also have full size snooker tables that you can play on without being a member for something amazing like £2 an hour as long as members don’t want to play.
Oh, I nearly forgot POD, a café that serves continental beers like Kozel and Kaltenberg. It’s small, and quite continental in style.
Levy isn’t the sort of place you’re going to attract your friends to from other areas to for a pub crawl, but if you want to grab a few pints on the way home or go out for some drinks in the afternoon or evening, you can have a really good time. For the most part, the people of Levy are friendly and welcoming. Don’t worry if you’re better dressed than the majority of them. That sounds a bit snobby; honestly, who do I think I’m talking to? I can only relate my perceptions, anyway.
On Saturdays there is now a hipster craft market, and that’s good because it has an outside bar. Sadly I never got round to trying it. Same with the new craft beer bar and art gallery, Fred’s Ale House. That was just on the verge of opening when we left, so that remains unexplored also.
If that’s not good enough for you, and as I’ve said a few times before, you can hop on a bus to The Magnet on the edge of Stockport.
Bringing our roundup to the Urmston area now, The Hop House is a new hipster type place with continental service (meaning you can sit down and wait to be served) and a variety of plates (such as cheese boards) on offer. Here you can get a small selection of fancy continental lagers, ales and IPAs for a reasonable price.
The Church Inn is the nearest pub to my house, in the villagiest looking part of Flixton which is ruined only by what should be another quaint pub actually being a Thai restaurant and pub. Nothing against Thai restaurants, but I would just prefer another pub. The Church Inn has tables for sitting out in the summer and numerous evening activities like open mic, pub quiz and darts but the beer selection is disappointing. You have to give them credit for offering Moretti on tap, but from what I’ve seen so far, the “four guest ales” tends to be er… three (I’m not sure now whether they ever did advertise them as four…) and fairly standard when you’ve been round the block a few times – Tribute, Abbot Ale and the like. Still, for convenience and friendly local atmosphere, it looks good. They do food, too. There were actually people in there having dessert the first time we went in. The layout is a bit country pub – alcoves and the like.
Halfway between our house and Urmston town centre is The Bird I’Th Hand, which is about as Lancashire a pub name as you can get. If you continue into Urmston (up Flixton Road) you get a bit of a run of pubs but, coming from ours, this is where it starts. It’s a friendly, local-type pub with a decent selection of lagers and ales (two house, two guest), a beer garden and a licence to show the footy. In contrast to the Church Inn, the layout is quite spacious and open with two main drinking areas.
There’s also The Garrick’s Head, which is towards the Trafford General Hospital. That’s a large but pretty standard pub that serves food and shows the footy.
The Chadwick is a scruffy looking pub in spite of fairly recently having had a facelift. Inside it’s still old school with a very disappointing selection of beers, but a friendly staff and clientele. It’s a United pub though, so not somewhere you want to go if you support Liverpool (like me) or City – not that it would be dangerous (in general), just that you won’t be wanting to be surrounded by United fans.
The Steamhouse sits on the platform of Urmston train station, so it’s handy for when your train is delayed, though I can’t really think of any journey from Urmston that would benefit starting with a pint. It’s nice to get off here on the way home though, grab a few pints and then jump on a later train to Flixton – or do the walk. It’s cosy and friendly enough, and it has a wide range of reasonably priced beers – lagers, ales, German pilsners and the like. I’d advise that you stay away from their own brews though – I’ve tried two, and they were awful. One tasted like that liquid they give you to rinse with at the dentist. In all fairness, they did offer me an opportunity to try it before I bought it and, as ever I figured there’s no beer bad enough that I couldn’t drink a pint of it. I was right on that score, but it was awful.
Then there’s the Roebuck, which is away from Urmston town centre itself, near to the Chassen Road train station. This one has gone for a gastro-pub aesthetic with decent pub food and a selection of Joseph Holt beers.
Bevano is a café-bar type place, open long hours, serving decent food and serving an unchanging selection of four or five beers. I would go here a lot more often if they would have a new beer in from time to time.
I still need to try some of the other pubs, so I can’t really comment on them yet. Nevertheless, there has to be an exhaustive Urmston pub crawl at some point, so don’t think this is the last you’ve heard of it.
new booe shelf!
Storing your booze and glasses
Finally, some reflections on sorting out the booze in your new house. Where does it go? It might not be a problem for you if you’ve bought a house with more storage space than you had before, but sadly we haven’t. The house is bigger, but it isn’t until you actually move in of course, and try putting all your kitchen utensils away (or until your wife does, should I say), that you realise you have fewer and smaller kitchen cabinets than you had in your last place. And with no wall cabinets, there’s nothing to sit your bottles on.
For the first few months then, my bottles were sitting in a huddle underneath the boiler. It had been frustrating because I couldn’t see what I’d got, and it made it harder to decide what to have. Luckily though, Mrs Cake made finding a home for the family one of our top priorities, so there is now a bar-type cabinet in one corner of the dining room. That will be followed by finding a home for my bar optics – that I’m super excited about getting on the wall; absinthe at the push of a… tap? You bet your ass.
So there you go. I think that about covers it. It may not be useful to the vast majority of the world, but you can just think of this post as another piece of the puzzle that is my drinking saga.


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