Original Cocktail Inventions, part 2: The Witch's Tit

Sexy witch

While I was conducting the experiments that led to the creation of the Yorkshire Guilt, Brenda returned home one day with a tin of gooseberries (in syrup). Immediately forming in my mind was a plan to use them for another cocktail creation. This time though, there was no overriding theme, no direction… I was going to have to start from nothing.

I began by blending the contents of the can, and storing it in the fridge, as I had with the tinned rhubarb. Beyond that, I had nothing. I just knew that I wanted to make something a bit different. I started thinking about multi-layered drinks where the different densities of the different liquids cause them to either sink to the bottom or sit on the top – like in a Tequila Sunrise.

I also thought I should use some ingredients that I have enough of to experiment with – I didn’t want to get close to a eureka moment, only to find that I would have to suspend trials because I’d run out of something.

The Witch's Tit with it's proud parents

A quick glance to the front left corner of my kitchen cupboard provided an answer. There was half a bottle of Tesco Imperial vodka (not considered essential, since I still had most of a bottle of Russian Standard) and a small bottle of Chambord liqueur that I hadn’t found much of a use for.

I put 5 ice cubes in a cocktail shaker, poured over 1 measure of vodka and 100ml of the gooseberry puree. I then shook until a frost formed and strained into a small wine glass. The seeds in the gooseberry puree were blocking the strainer, so I had to stir a little with my finger to make sure enough of the mixture came through. Finally I carefully poured a measure of Chambord into the middle, and it quickly sank to the bottom, leaving me with a green drink that tapered into a red and yellow mixture at the bottom (yellow from the gooseberry seeds).

I tasted it, and it was delicious. That’s it, no more experiments necessary. All that was needed was a name, and that came quickly – The Witch’s Tit – because the glass gave it the shape of a breast (if you use your imagination, see above). The main part of the breast is green (like a witch’s skin, see right), then there was the red of the Chambord like a nipple, and the seeds of the gooseberries like the yellow Montgomery tubercles of a lady’s nipple. Done and dusted.

It does look like a witch's tit, doesn't it?

A witch's skin is known to be green

That recipe in more digestible form:

5-6 ice cubes

1 measure vodka

100ml gooseberry puree (made from the entire contents of a tin of gooseberries)

1 measure Chambord

Shake the vodka and gooseberry puree with the ice until a frost forms. Strain into a small wine glass, stirring inside the strainer with your finger to ensure enough liquid and seeds come through. Quickly but carefully pour the Chambord into the middle of the glass, and let it sink to the bottom. Serve. 

 A bonus photo

Bwah! I said witches are known to be green, not make you turn green!

Original Cocktail Inventions, part 1: Yorkshire Guilt

The real deal

You may remember from my Has Anyone Ever Invented a Cocktail? feature that prior to inventing the Straw Donkey, my original intention was actually to invent a Yorkshire-themed cocktail. I had made a list of potential ingredients, but thought that I would have to put experiments on hold until rhubarb came into season. It turns out I was wrong; you can buy tinned rhubarb in Tesco.

What follows is an account of the making of the drink I decided to call Yorkshire Guilt. The name comes from a phrase coined by my work colleague, Bev. She is actually my second cousin (we learned after two years of working together), and therefore also of Yorkshire origin, and what she is referring to is the practice of assuming guilt for something that one cannot possibly be responsible for. I’m sure it’s not a specifically Yorkshire trait, but we refer to it that way, and it seemed like a good name for an alcoholic drink.

Early attempt

My first attempts were drinkable, but not entirely satisfactory – it was not a drink I’d be inclined to return to. I muddled the tinned rhubarb chunks, then cracked some ice and added 103 Brandy de Jerez and 2 tsp of sugar syrup before topping up with a little ginger wine. It wasn't to my taste, so next I tried replacing the ginger wine with ginger ale, in the style of a mojito. Still dissatisfied, I tried replacing the ginger ale with pineapple juice, and adding sugar instead of sugar syrup. It wasn't bad, but not as good as I was aiming for. Part of the problem was that the rhubarb was blocking up the straw. The next thing would be to blend the rhubarb.

Two experiments

Phase two: after some deliberation I decided to empty the whole tin of rhubarb pieces into the blender, including the syrup. I just blended this up and placed it in a jar in the fridge to draw upon for future experimentation.

with Blue Curacao

Results with the rhubarb were more pleasing. I shook 100ml of rhubarb puree with two measures of dark rum (Lamb's Navy Rum, in place of the 103 Brandy de Jerez), 1 measure of Blue Curacao and 1 measure of lemon juice with 5 ice cubes. It resulted in a fantastic colour, and was enjoyable. I still felt something was missing however, and decided more citrus was required.

Drink n' fixings

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to make another one of these, as that one saw the last of the blue curacao. Next time I used Triple Sec instead, and replaced the measure of lemon juice with two measures of lime juice. I thought this was it, but the last time I made it (with the last of the rhubarb puree), I used a little more of the puree, and decided this was better still. So the final recipe goes:

Blend a whole tin of rhubarb pieces, with the syrup. Store in the fridge. Then shake the following until a frost forms:

150ml rhubarb puree

Close-up of the finished article      

2 measures dark rum

1 measure Triple Sec

2 measures lime juice

5 ice cubes


Empty the whole lot into a glass. Enjoy.

So, give it a go, pass it around, tell me what you think. I’ll be planning to bring this one out on any occasion we have guests in future, so be warned. It’s ok if you don’t like it.

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So! It's the weekend again, and it looks like it's going to be a hot one, so no doubt you'll be hosting, or be invited to a barbeque, in that usual British, early summer panic to enjoy it before it's over. It's hot! Get the barbeque out! This might be the last chance we get! 


I know I'm going to one, and I learned today that there will be rhubarb bellinis, so I'll be taking more than a passing interest in how those turn out. Hopefully my rhubarb cocktail won't pale in comparison.


I've also got a wedding reception to attend tonight, so I'll have to be making mental notes, as you do when you're planning a wedding of your own.


Enjoy the sunshine then, and hopefully I'll see you next week - in a purely figurative sense, of course.