Exciting times: I
finally got around to ordering that extra strong Stolichnaya vodka that I had
been coveting for some time, like God’s neighbour’s very fine arse – 50% ABV,
it is. It was delivered quickly… but sadly to a neighbour’s house. I read the
card as no 3, and went there twice (thankfully no one was in) before realising
the card said no 13. I didn’t even know there were 13 houses on our road. There
are, and it’s the one occupied by the Australian guy who, when we met him, told
us he was about to play cricket for the first time ever. That’s like meeting an
adult Indian who’s never had a curry. What next; a Manc who doesn’t think he’s
funny?
He’s been doing the
house up for however many months it’s been since he and his partner moved in
there, and that’s what he was doing the three times I went and knocked on –
receiving no answer. As I found out the next day when I returned from an
incredibly early round of golf to find the bottle had been delivered to Mrs
Cake in my absence, he had been working in the loft and unable to get to the
door in time. No matter, the prize was now in my possession, and ready to begin
its obligatory anticipation-building period, or ABP* as I’m calling it until I
can think of something better.
It isn’t absolutely
necessary, but it is a universal truth that it is best to open a new bottle
when you have company – not too much company, mind. You want to make sure
there’s plenty left for you to enjoy on your own afterwards.
And so it was that I
decided the 100 Proof Stoli was ripe for opening one Friday evening when my
friend Phil came round. It had been a while, and there was booze to be shown
off so out came the blue.
A-a-a-a-a-nd… it’s fricking delicious – way better than I
ever even imagined it could be. I thought the Stoli red was good (it is), but
this is just another level of greatness. The increased strength adds layer upon
layer to that flavour – which still tastes like Stoli red but… more. It’s full
bodied, oily, mouth coating… all those good things, and it just got better and
better with every sip. This was at room temperature too – no need to freeze.
This is quite simply
the best vodka I’ve ever known, and at around £25 a bottle, well worth it. No, don’t waste your time
if you want to mix it with something but, if mixing is all you use vodka for,
this could expand your consciousness and give you something you didn’t think
was possible: vodka you want to drink straight (if Stoli red hadn’t already
done that).
Phil agreed that it
was tasty, and I was enjoying it so much that my next thought was, Paul needs to try this. I made sure
to pour some in a sample jar and take it out to the next day’s pub crawl.
“You know what I
think of vodka, don’t you?” Paul said as I handed it over.
He took a sip, and
even he was impressed. I told him to keep the sample, and keep dipping into it.
In conclusion then,
I have a new favourite vodka. It’s the same as the old favourite, but stronger
and better. I’ve been pretty much tearing this bottle up on Friday nights
before settling in with the mellower stuff.
I doubt I’m ever
going to improve on it but… I have learned there is also a Stolichnaya Gold
vodka at around the same price, that no doubt will be on my shopping list now –
despite being only 40% ABV. After that I suppose I’ll have to try some different
brands. I better find some good ones quick though, or I’m just going to order
the 100 proof Stoli in bulk and let everyone else take care of the others.
*the practice of leaving a new bottle
unopened for an unspecified period to further build the anticipation/excitement,
making the actual opening (or, moment of fulfilment) a special occasion. You
don’t need a special occasion to open special booze –opening the booze is
special occasion enough.
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