Friday, 24 February 2012

I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpanzee!

Many years ago (try 10 or so) I came across a website that provided instructions on ‘finding your inner monkey’.  The gist was that you could find your inner monkey if you took time to drink a bottle of spirits on your own, with no distractions. 

As I remember it, it actually sounded like fun. Of course, nothing would happen for the first five or so drinks, but then something would awaken in you, something that would be unique to everyone. 

I never tried it for a number of reasons. Not only does it sound like one of the steps along the road to alcoholism, but I always had friends around and there was a Playstation… and I’d probably get bored before reaching the 5th drink anyway. 

Frankly, it’s the same now. Brenda’s always around, and if she isn’t I arrange to go out with friends, or I stay in and play on the Xbox – I’ve always got a new game that I’m itching to play – and it still sounds like one of the steps along the road to alcoholism. What comes after that – having Baileys on your corn flakes? [That’s one to try.] I might have a couple of drinks on my own, but not enough to find any kind of monkey.

No, if this is ever going to happen, I’m going to have to find myself alone, miles from anywhere, no TV, nothing to do… with a bottle of booze. Kind of like going to a conference, then. I just can’t see it ever happening – I work in finance, and we don’t have conferences; if we left the numbers unsupervised they might escape, and there’s no telling what they’d get up to. You never know, but it looks more likely that I’m going to have to rely on you to try it. Have you looked for, or even found your inner monkey?  If so, if anything of note happened, and if you can remember it let me know. If not; you’re not doing anything this weekend are you? Get on it. Just remember to drink responsibly.

I’ve actually found that article once again; here it is The source of that article is, the website of Modern Drunkard Magazine. It openly celebrates drunkenness and alcoholic excess in a slightly self-righteous way, but it’s a well-presented and creative diversion, if a bit more rule-oriented than Drink it How You Like it, in that it has 86 rules. 86! That’s 8.6 times more than God!

My blog isn’t about being drunk, it’s about enjoying alcohol, though by its very nature, being drunk sometimes figures in the narrative… or results from the investigation.

So go check out the Modern Drunkard, and think about seeking out your own inner monkey. I’ll see you next week for another post or two.

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